BRIANA tiptoed to the room where the light emitted from the television played dodgeball with the darkness. Just like a cocooned caterpillar, the figure tethered at the edge of the bed where it waited for the day to emerge. It has been a week since he moved in and the longest he’d been away from his wife of five years. Every night Briana went into the room to turn off the television. He must be missing his wife dearly, being all alone. Briana watched him intently. The form shifted under the blanket; he exhaled noisily and settled back into a quiet slumber. Briana turned off the television and went back to her room.
The next day Briana made breakfast, and they sat together to eat. During the conversation, she asked him five questions, and he responded accordingly.
What is the cause of the separation from your wife?
“The landlord sold the house we lived in last month. We stayed in a hotel for about two weeks, but we ran out of money. We could not afford to stay there any longer and had to find a place to live. We could not find a place where we could both stay together. I did not want to break up our home, but circumstances dealt us a bad hand, and we had to separate. So I am here, and she went to her family member until we can find another place to call home.”
How does it feel being away from your wife?
“Oh, Lord! I am happy for the peace and the quiet time. It is better to talk to her on the phone rather than being with her. We sometimes meet up and do errands. However, when we get finished, she goes her way, and I go my way. Being away from her, I can reflect on what my next moves will be. I can strategize on how I wanted to proceed to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself. I am old, but I have more years ahead of me. I could have money if I had someone to advise me when I came to this country. But I am willing to work and do my little hustling. Eventually, finding a place to live.”
Do you miss her?
“Sometimes I miss her. And other times I do not because she let me talk a lot. I do not put her on my brain. If I don’t speak to her, I do not miss her. I appreciate her. I feel for her when she asked if I miss her. I told her to call me anytime she wants to talk. Big mistake, she called me fifty times for the day. She is sick, I tell you… one crazy woman, but I love her. Sometimes I do not answer her, or I answer the phone and tell her that I would call her back. I just wanted to get her off the phone. She could stay with her family.”
Tell me one of the qualities that you missed about her?
“Sometimes we laugh together. When I cannot reach spots on my back to itch, I would ask my wife to scratch my back for me. She would scratch the itch and lotion my back and my head too. I love that affection.”
What will happen when you move back in together?
“I know how to work with her when we move back in together. I will be out of the house early in the mornings and get home late at night, expecting her to be asleep by the time I get there. She talks too much, and it is nagging to me with nothing of substance. I do not learn anything from her. She also gets jealous. When my phone rings, she always asked who is it. She is crazy. She does not want anybody to talk to me, and she is quick to argue. I do not ask her who she talks to on the phone. I do not want to live like that so, before we get back together, we will discuss this issue then I will be alright. I love her, and I will try to tolerate her temper and accept her craziness. I love her for better or for worst.”
Love is complicated. The ups and downs we face in our relationships can either make the friendship stronger or break it apart. Love makes us do crazy things. Sometimes we cannot stop loving our mate even when he/she treated us wrongly. We cannot judge one relationship by another’s standard. Who dares to advise or recommend how to be in love. What works for you might not be tolerable for another. The person who you chose to love is their individual. Each one has their ideas, perspective, and opinions. Love is complicated. One day you love him/her, and the next day you hate him/her. Then you love him/her again.
Love is a feeling and it is complicated. Be true to yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself.
Sanchez – Love is a Feeling – 90’s Reggae Dancehall – (Reggae Max) – Bing video
Ok, I said it!