The man in the window stood at the curb leaning on his cane. As soon as I pulled to a stop next to him, he moved forward when I rolled down the passenger side window of the car.
“Good morning,” I greeted him.
“I knew you would come by to brighten up my day,” he smiled, and his gray mustache curled at the ends. “How are you doing, beautiful lady? Look at that smile,” he stared at me.
I guess that I was overly smiling because of the compliment.
“How are you doing? And how is your morning thus far?” I asked to project the attention back to him.
“Fine! Fine! I woke up this morning,” he responded. “I am blessed. I am blessed. What day is today?”
“Today is Friday. Friday the 24th,” I answered.
“I am in a position in life where I do not need to know what day it is,” he said in a cheerful tone.
I admired his enthusiasm for life. How will I feel when I retire? I anticipated doing what I wanted to do if anything when I am off on the weekends. I felt so happy when I am on vacation or when I get a four day weekend. I can only imagine when I get to retirement, hmmm!
“Any day we wake up is a blessing. Life is a gift,” I finally responded.
“Sweetheart from your lips to my ears, and do you want to know something? Hello! I do not have to know what day it is. Didn’t I wake up this morning? Hello! Let me pinch myself. Am I still here? Am I still alive?”
We laughed like close friends remembering a funny joke.
“Let me tell you something; I enjoy talking to you in the mornings. It is fun,” he said.
“And I enjoy listening to you.”
Thoughts from the man in the window
“I was thinking this morning about people, and I looked back on my life. I look back on my brother, my oldest brother (Junior). He was about seven or eight years older than me, and he used to bully me when I was younger.” He drifted off for a second, and his face looked troubled as if revisiting a painful memory.
I was concerned for him because I recognized that after all this time, he was still hurting. He hadn’t gotten over the pain his brother had caused him.
“He bullied me. I used to think about what did I do to him?
He went into the Army, and when he returned home, he was very hostile and a mean person. I didn’t know what I did to him. All I wanted to do was to play basketball and be a kid. I was around twelve years old then. I was thinking about that this morning. People have a lot of problems upstairs (in their heads). Since I am retired, I have a lot of time to sit back, watch television, and reflect on life. I guess the story for today is to be friendly with people and treat others the way you what them to treat you. I realized that my brother was a very insecure person, and he took out his frustration on anyone weaker or who looked to be weaker than him. In that case, I was the weaker one.”
“When you have those types of people around you, it can make your life miserable. One way to conquer his abuse was to avoid him.
He is the last living sibling I have left. One day, his son was in town and stopped by to visit me. I hadn’t seen him in so long. We talk for a while, and then he asked me why his father and I were not talking to each other. I told him that I had no idea. I wish that I could give him an answer, but what I wanted to say was that he was a “fucking asshole.” I could kick his butt now, he’s an old asshole.”
We laughed heartily
“I could not say that to him. He was my nephew, and I love him. There was nothing to gain by bringing up the pass with him. People you think are your friends are not; you have to be very careful. Some people are assholes. Sorry for cursing in front of you. You are a sweet lady. Be on the watch.
“This could be my gem of wisdom; each one, teach one,” he said.
“That behavior and hostility in my neighborhood and my own house with my brother made me an unhappy person when I was younger and very confused. The older I got, the more I tried to distance myself from that, and I concluded that life is what we make of it. If you want to dwell on that bull shit, it can be hard on you. Talking to you in the mornings made me reflect at times.”
I smiled at him out of empathy. I wanted to hug him to assure him that it was a pleasure talking and listening to him as well.
“I am going to take that smile with me for the whole weekend!” He said as he backed away from the car and blew me kisses.
“Enjoy your weekend, Mr. T. “ I put my car into drive, put on my left indicator on, and with my foot on the gas, I merged into traffic.
I haven’t seen a loner who is a bully. I haven’t seen someone referred to as a “bully” pick a fight with someone deemed as strong. It is usually someone in a group who is trying to prove him/herself to his/her friend(s). In my opinion, bullies are cowards, and they lack self-esteem, true family love, and self-love.
These “bullies” are sometimes hurting from issues at home, and they are afraid others will find out and expose their pain. So, they hide what they are going through by hurting others.
In the case with the man in the window, his “bully” was his brother. His brother came back from the Army, broken. It caused me to question what did he experience while away on duty? What emotional issues did he endure?
The issue with bullying is more profound than we see on the surface. Too often, we hear of someone committing suicide because of being bullied. For healing to take place, the person experiences the hurt and the one causing the pain needs emotional intervention through therapy or counseling.
Ok, I said it!
It’s never ok to be a bully or be bullied by someone, thank god that as time goes by it gets easier for him and also to heal from being bullied.